the epiphany

So it came to me today...I slept horribly but I guess I had a moment of clarity at some point.

Some people need to feel the pity of others to survive.  I am not one of these people.  So today I had to take a dive into understanding others which in turn helped me understand myself and I feel better about things.  I feel liberated.

Just to let you know there are a lot of these people out there.  I work with these people, I am friends with these people and some are even in my own family.  These people may or may not want to change their lives for the better, but I believe they don't because they have an insatiable need for people to feel sorry for them.  I, again, am not one of these people.  I don't think I am anyway.




I hate when people feel sorry for me.  Apparently some people crave this.  I pride myself on overcoming obstacles and making decisions to better my life without involving others.  Not all the time, and obviously I consult my own husband on certain issues that will affect both of us, but in general I try to change things before people can get any whiff of anything that is ailing me.

These are the same people that don't hear me.  I think they may hear me, or hear parts of what I am saying, but choose not to really listen because if they listen and make a change in their life for the better, they won't have anyone feeling sorry for them anymore.  Sometimes these people hear what I say, but mold it in a way to fit their own reality and take it so far from reality I don't even want to be associated with it anyway.

These people are exhausting.  They make my life needlessly stressful.  But they are family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers and they are a part of my life and I must try to understand them and adapt my communication style with them to achieve the best for both of us.

Things to remember:  Telling my epiphany to Andy and having us both feel pride in ourselves and the relationship we have, even though we go through our share of rough patches since our future is so uncertain at the moment.  We are in this life together and we don't feel sorry for ourselves or each other and we will make the best of whatever is thrown in our path.  <3