So I started taking vitamins today. A multivitamin, b12 and d3. I am constantly tired, get headaches daily and in general just do not want to get out of bed. Some people would hear that and say I am depressed. Am I? Maybe I am. Once I get going I am ok...I just don't like to get going. No motivation at all. Hopefully the vitamins will help. And exercise...gotta do it! Been feeling really pudgy lately and I don't like it.
It was an OK week. Went to Tedeschi Trucks concert on Sunday and it was fabulous. She has such a fantastic voice. Work wasn't too bad either. We had a DM visit that I wasn't there for but apparently it went ok as well. I just want Christmas to be over. I hate the holidays. Maybe I would enjoy them if I didn't work retail. Hopefully someday I won't. The massage institute called me the other day about enrolling. Maybe that is my sign. I was thinking I could start in April. My niece graduates in June though and I really want to go so maybe I will put off starting until July. I still have to come up with $4k or get financed for it. And Andy needs to go to school...ugh. Why can't I just blink my eyes and be where I want to be and not have to go through the motions?
Found out Doug and the kids are coming for Thanksgiving. That is some of the best news I have heard in a long time! I can't wait until they all get here. I just want to hang out like the good old days but this time it will be even better because it will be with Nicole and not Jacquie! I miss Nicole. I wish I could talk to her more often but it just seems that we differ so much lately and either have nothing to say or bicker about what we do say because we have such different views on life. I am worried for her, I still think she is not over her grandmother's passing. I hope she can talk to someone who can help her. She calls me to vent sometimes and I try and offer her advice but it falls on deaf ears and she gets very defensive. Then I am sorry I tried to help at all.
My birthday is Monday and our anniversary is Friday. We are going to dinner to the lobster place on Thursday with my mom and brother, and then Friday we are going to Marotta's with my cousins and uncle. Nothing else planned really. I am off this weekend (today and tomorrow), work Monday and then I am off Tuesday and Wednesday. I would like to get the house in order but then I would have to have some motivation. Maybe I will? If the vitamins kick in.
At least I know I am not alone. My aunt was in town the last couple of days and I was talking to her about it too. Her husband is a doctor and he was the one who suggested the vitamins. She also feels the same...piles of paperwork not put away, don't feel like making dinner, don't feel like making phone calls, etc. And other people on facebook post similar things. It is depressing. I am 36 I shouldn't feel like this. Tired and drained. I don't even have kids for goodness sake! How do those people do it?
I wish I was financially stable and had a good career and had time to enjoy the little things in life, like weekends off, going for a walk, etc. If I was motivated I could maybe. These are the people I have talked about in previous posts...the people that complain about their life but never do anything about it and then seek pity about their predicaments. Is that me? God I hope not. I hate those people!
Change starts today! I need a change. I changed my hair color Friday...I need some new clothes...need to eat better, take vitamins and exercise...the change starts now.
Things to remember: great apple cider, fall leaves swirling in the cool fall air, everyone loving the new hair color, feeling re-energized, making beef bourguignon for Andy after a full day of hunting and feeling like he is the only part of my life I wouldn't change.
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