ahh communication...why is it so hard? I went on an interview today at the Boulevard mall store and Kim asked me about a time when I had coached my boss...I had an example and thinking back on it I wondered, "why is it so hard to communicate with some people?". My boss being one of them. But only about certain things. There are days we can bullshit about anything and then there are days when its so hard to talk to her.
I take for granted sometimes the good communication Andy and I have. Maybe we didn't always communicate well. I am sure we didn't. I guess looking back I assume that it was because I was young, inexperienced at relationships and just didn't know any better. I guess its the same for others. Maybe they are just inexperienced. Or don't realize that their style of communicating isn't effective at getting their message across. It goes back to the blog about how you can't be heard if no one is listening. You can try to communicate but if your words fall on deaf ears what good is it? So that is where I would look inward and ask myself "if I am not getting the result I want, what can I do differently?".
Had a nice talk today with Kim and she shared a lot of insights with me. She calls herself "new Kim" now and refers to herself as "old Kim" when she describes how she handled situations in the past. She said she had a visit with our Regional manager who noticed the change in her management style and our Regional asked her "what was her turning point" and she said it was when she started listening. She started hearing what people around her really thought. That she was self centered, only cared about how something would benefit her or make her look to her peers and supervisors. She was surprised when she really started listening to what others were telling her because she hadn't perceived herself that way at all. She is determined to be the best, very competitive and strives to be an expert at whatever she does. She is very successful. Wants to be a District manager and was willing to leave her family for a year to move to another city to get experience. But one day she realized that her success could help others achieve their goals as well and its great to have a track record of promoting associates to managers but it benefits those associates just as much as it benefits her. Our DM even told her to stop constantly seeking approval from everyone...everyone knows you know how to do your job, that you are an expert at this or that. Stop trying to prove yourself to everyone and share your knowledge with them so they can be as good as you are. Very insightful today.
It took her 37 years to listen. Sounds like a simple concept. Listen.
Back to Andy. I really don't know why we communicate so well. I guess because we listen. We tell the truth. We respect each other. If I say something or do something to hurt him or piss him off I own up to it. God forbid I ever mess up one of his guns or fishing poles or whatever. If I did I would be honest about it, and apologize of course and let him know that I do respect him and his things and would never do anything on purpose to make him angry. And he would know. He would listen and be mad maybe for a while. But he would know I respect him and his things.
I feel like I am rambling here.
Like the turkey!!! He knows I didn't drive away on purpose with the turkey in the back of the truck! LOL! And he knows I didn't purposely ignore his calls! haha! Damn turkey!
So simplicity is the key...respect, listen, be honest. All will lead to good communication...in theory...right? So why is it so hard sometimes? Why is it so hard for some people?
Things to remember: driving all the way to the Boulevard mall with a turkey on the tailgate, smelly garbage at my mom's house, phones dinging and quacking non stop, Olive Garden's good coffee, cleaning the room for the kids
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